IT'S THAT time of year again when the most absorbing, yet annoying contest creeps in and takes over 'Inside Right's' life for the next nine months or so. No we're not talking about the Premier League, but its more grating, pesky little cousin, the Fantasy Premier League. For those not in the know Fantasy Premier League is an online game where you're given a notional £100 million to splash out on your squad and you score points for goals, assists, clean sheets and the like.

You battle it out in one huge league of a couple of million as well as private leagues, with friends, work colleagues and any other poor souls that may have crossed your path, so bragging rights and banter are definitely the order of the day come Monday morning.

On the upside it's a brilliantly put together and is an engrossing pastime, however, the flipside is that it is pretty darned addictive and more or less ruins your enjoyment of the beautiful game.

For those with a competitive streak like yours truly, once you've been lured into its lair no longer can you sit back and just enjoy the action - instead you're urging Rooney to shoot, Friedel to make a penalty save or praying that Bent baloons the ball wide because you've chosen to leave him warming the bench.

Take last Saturday evening for example, 'InsideRight' was banging the head against the wall for not putting Didier Drogba in the team (not literally in case you think I've lost the plot). Particularly after having gone to the bother of reading the team news that tells you in no uncertain terms that he's highly unlikely to be fit to start and then he scores a bloody hat-trick.

Damn you match lousy previewers, damn you to the New Den.

Punching the air when the despicable John Terry towers above the defence to head home isn't exactly 'Inside Right's' idea of enjoyment, but that's what it reduces you to, if you happen to have the centre-half in your first eleven.

Steven Gerrard is another player that yours truly wouldn't have a whole lot of time for but if he's in the dream team it's a case of 'put the effin ball in the effin net you bloody so and so', as your perspective of who you actually want to win the game goes right out of the window.

Another problem is that yours truly is the Arsenal of the Fantasy Premier League world.

Always there or thereabouts for most of the season but failing to make the final push for glory when the finish line is in sight and then in true Wengeresue style looking for excuses - I was on holidays for a fortnight amongst some primitive tribe without internet access or our broadband connection went belly up just as I was about to make some vital team change, or other such feeble claims.

Maybe, just maybe, this year instead of merely claiming an imaginary Champions League spot 'Inside Right' will march on to take the title in glorious style and wipe the smug face of the office champ - at least that would be some consolation after months of selection headaches and pulling the hair out frustration.

Thankfully 'Inside Right' is a Swindon Town fan so it definitely hasn't impinged on the pleasure (or pain) of following the Robins. Fantasy League One just doesn't have the same ring to it.

- DAVE DEVEREUX